Soldier's Christmas Secrets Read online

  Jillian glanced at him in surprise but then realized that Hawk’s keen sense of perception never missed a thing. “Not yet, but that will change once we’re able to tell her.”

  “Tell me what?” Lizzy asked. She popped both the tall French fry and the smaller one into her mouth.

  Hawk froze and Jillian could tell their daughter’s innocent question, one she had no intention of answering, had shocked him more than any gunshot ever could.

  “We wanted to tell you that we’re going to another cabin, but this one has a playground.” Jillian injected enthusiasm in her tone. “Won’t that be fun?”

  Lizzy nodded, but her tiny brow puckered in a frown. “Will the bad men find us there?”

  A look of horror crossed Hawk’s features and then quickly vanished. He reached over and covered her tiny hand with his. “Lizzy, I’m doing everything possible to make sure they’ll never find us again.”

  Lizzy held his gaze for a long, poignant moment. “Okay.”

  Jillian gave her daughter a quick hug. “Are you finished? We need to leave.”

  Lizzy bobbed her head up and down. “’Cept, I hav’ta go to the bathroom.”

  Jillian sensed Hawk’s impatience but he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t used to traveling with young children. So far, Lizzy had taken everything in stride, but it was only a matter of time until she grew cranky. Hawk hadn’t seen anything like one of Lizzy’s temper tantrums.

  It was another ten minutes before she had Lizzy tucked into her car seat and they were back on the road. Hawk didn’t say much as he drove, making her wonder what was going through his mind.

  James hadn’t been afraid to open up to her about his thoughts and feelings. There was a time they’d shared everything.

  Yet she also knew that even if her husband hadn’t been in a plane crash and left for dead, he probably would have come home from Afghanistan a changed man. In her time at Fort Bragg, other army wives had vented their frustration over the changes in their spouses when they’d come back from being deployed. The moodiness, the quietness, the nightmares.

  It was shocking to think that this new version of James, the man she now called Hawk, may have been the same, whether he’d been involved in the plane crash or not.

  “What?” Hawk asked, breaking the silence.

  She blushed, realizing she’d been staring at him. “Nothing really, just wondering what you were thinking.”

  He gave a curt nod. “That I should have had plastic surgery to minimize the scar.”

  She was taken aback by his response. “What? No! I mean, why? That sounds pretty drastic.”

  Hawk’s gaze cut to the rearview mirror to look back at Lizzy before returning to her. “I’m too scary. I don’t think telling her the truth now is a good idea.”

  It was her turn to glance back at their daughter. “She’s not afraid of you, Hawk. At least, not anymore.”

  Hawk’s mouth tightened in a grimace. “I’m not sure I believe that. I hate the idea she might be frightened of me.”

  She lightly touched his forearm. “You need to understand that the day care centers spend a lot of time on their ‘Stranger Danger’ safety campaign. It’s never been about you and your scar but about strangers in general.” Jillian knew that her own attitude toward Hawk over these past months hadn’t helped. Sure, she’d been grateful for his help and generous support, but she’d never gone out of her way to befriend him, either.

  Because of the scar? She didn’t want to think so. Hawk was handsome in spite of the scar and she was certain women had let him know how attractive he was during the time they’d been apart.

  Hawk dropped his gaze to her left hand. The wedding band she wore felt as if it were burning into her skin.

  “It’s the same one you gave me,” she admitted softly. “I put the diamond away after you...after I got the news, but kept wearing the band.”

  “Why?”

  She hesitated and then told him the truth. “I wanted to save the diamond for Lizzy.”

  “I meant, why wear the wedding band.” Hawk’s gravelly voice sent shivers of awareness down her spine.

  That was a more complicated answer. “I guess deep down, I still felt married. I wasn’t interested in anyone else and wearing the wedding ring kept men away.”

  There was another long silence. “When I first found you, I thought you’d moved on with someone else. I didn’t realize Lizzy was my...” He didn’t finish but shrugged and tipped his head back toward their daughter. “I want you to know I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had, Jilly. Moved on, I mean.”

  “Well.” She tried to smile. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t.”

  He looked surprised by her response but didn’t say anything more.

  Fifteen minutes later, Hawk pulled onto a poorly plowed road, the SUV bouncing from side to side as he navigated between rows of trees. The area was not unlike the wooded landscape surrounding Hawk’s cabin. When Hawk brought the vehicle to a stop, Jillian hoped and prayed that this time they wouldn’t be forced to flee on foot.

  “Stay inside,” he said as he pushed open the door on his side. “This won’t take long.”

  She nodded and tried to relax back against the seat. But her nerves were still on edge, and she found herself scanning their surroundings the way Hawk might.

  The playground was due west, several yards to her left. The snow wasn’t terribly deep and she thought Lizzy might still be able to enjoy the swing set.

  Apparently, Hawk need not have worried about there not being a cabin available this close to the holiday, because he returned a short time later with two keys. “I picked the largest one, across from the playground. Hope that’s okay.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “There are three bedrooms,” he added. “One room has twin beds.”

  The SUV bounced again as he drove toward the large cabin across from the playground. She carried Lizzy inside while Hawk unlatched the car seat and brought that in with them.

  “We’re not keeping the car?” she guessed.

  “No.” He frowned as he took note of Lizzy’s footie pajamas. “I should have asked Mike to bring clothes and stuff for Lizzy. I’ll pick some things up on my way back from your place.”

  “Yeah, well, about that.” She cleared her throat as Lizzy ran into the living room. “I forgot to tell you something important.”

  His gaze narrowed. “Like what?”

  “Mommy! I wanna watch TV!”

  “I’ll be right back.” Jillian went into the living room, found the remote and searched for a cartoon channel. When Lizzy was satisfied, she returned to the kitchen. Hawk didn’t move, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression forbidding.

  She held up a hand as if to ward off an argument. “I forgot to mention the envelope isn’t at home.”

  “Where is it?”

  She grimaced. “I left it on my desk at school. The last day before the holiday break is so chaotic—we had a party, then did a Christmas program for the parents. I completely forgot about it.”

  “At school.” Hawk’s shoulders relaxed. “Okay, you can tell me where your classroom is and I’ll find it.”

  It was her turn to cross her arms over her chest. “It’s better if I go with you.”

  “No.”

  The single word made her cheeks flush with anger. “Yes. The place is closed for the holiday break. And you won’t know which key to use. Besides, with me being there, we’ll be in and out in a heartbeat.”

  Hawk held her gaze for several long moments, clearly not happy. He turned away without saying a word.

  She told herself she didn’t care if he was upset with her. The school was locked down and so was her classroom. Sending Hawk in alone seemed wrong. That was her space.

  They needed to work together on this, but it was clear Hawk would ra
ther operate alone.

  Did that extend to his personal life, too? He claimed he hadn’t told her the truth about who he was because he thought she’d moved on, but she wasn’t buying it. There had been many opportunities for him to have casually asked questions about her life, about Lizzy, but he hadn’t.

  She sensed Hawk would rather live alone in a house than be a part of the family with her and Lizzy.

  And that knowledge cut deep.

  SIX

  Hawk stood at the window overlooking the playground, clenching his jaw so tight he feared he’d crack a few molars. He couldn’t remember ever being this angry with Jillian before. Why in the world would she place herself in danger? She needed to be safe. If anything happened to Jillian, who would take care of Lizzy?

  A cold fist squeezed his heart. He was the only one who should be facing danger. Not Jillian. She and Lizzy were innocent.

  He tried to relax his jaw to think about the situation logically.

  Sneaking into Brookland Elementary might not be the highest risk situation they’d face. Not as bad as being trailed through the woods by four armed men. But her assistance wasn’t necessary.

  He much preferred going alone.

  Several moments later, Jillian left the kitchen, and her muted voice talking to Lizzy reached him from the living room. He wanted to join them but forced himself to stay where he was. He also wanted to call Mike to get an ETA, but he’d crushed his cell phone and Jillian’s with the heel of his boot and dumped them in the trash outside the family restaurant while Jillian and Lizzy were in the restroom.

  Normally he prided himself on being patient. It was the hallmark of a good special ops soldier. Blowing out a heavy sigh, he began to formulate a strategy for once the Callahans arrived. He needed more information on Barton but didn’t want to place Mike or his brothers in the senator’s crosshairs. But he also needed to get into the elementary school for the envelope that may hold the evidence he needed to fill some of the holes in his memory.

  His body tensed when he saw a black SUV pulling up. Upon recognizing Mike’s familiar face behind the wheel, he went out to meet him.

  “Hey,” Mike acknowledged as he slid out from behind the wheel and tossed the keys toward him. Hawk caught them in the air. “This is your new ride. Noah is on the way, and Matt said he and Duchess would be able to help out, too.”

  “Thanks.” Hawk was humbled by the response. Noah Sinclair was married to Maddy, the only female of the Callahan siblings. Noah was a cop. So was Matt Callahan, and Duchess was Matt’s K-9 partner, a large black-and-tan German shepherd.

  “Oh, and Dana was able to get the antibiotics you requested,” Mike continued. “She hit up one of her ER physician friends who agreed to write the prescription as long as you come in to be seen in the next few days.”

  That wasn’t going to happen until they managed to get to the bottom of this mess, but he let it go. The throbbing in his wounded shoulder had become more intense over the past hour, and he hoped the antibiotics would help control the potential infection brewing there.

  Mike thrust a bag at him. “Take the antibiotics, make sure you drink a lot of fluids, then get the phones activated so we have a way to contact you. I need you to fill me in.”

  Hawk nodded and carried the supplies inside. He downed the antibiotic and went to work on the phones, then turned his attention to the computer. Mike joined him at the table at the same time Jillian came over to see what they were doing.

  “Hi. I’m Jillian Wade,” she introduced herself to Mike.

  “Mike Callahan.” Mike rose to his feet and offered his hand.

  Hawk had to stop himself from jumping up and stepping between them. A ridiculous response, as Mike was happily married to Shayla and a doting father to their son, Brodie.

  He really needed to get a grip. Jillian didn’t belong to him anymore. James was dead. He was Hawk now.

  “Nice to meet you,” Jillian said warmly. “Glad you’re here to help. We can use it.”

  “Yeah, so, how do you know Hawk, anyway?” Mike’s curious gaze annoyed him.

  “We’re next-door neighbors.” Jillian gestured toward Hawk. “And when two armed men showed up at my house with guns, Hawk saved our lives.”

  “Our lives?” Mike questioned.

  “Me and my daughter, Lizzy,” Jillian said, jerking her thumb toward the living room, from where the sound of cartoons could be heard. “She’s four.”

  “I have a four-year-old son, too.” Mike beamed. “Brodie is a great kid.”

  Hawk was getting tired of the small talk. He didn’t do chitchat and didn’t see the point. “Can we get back on task here? Talk about the men with guns?”

  Mike’s expression turned serious. “What do you know about them?”

  “Only that they’re professionals,” Hawk admitted. “Likely with military training, but not Special Forces.”

  “Why not Special Forces?” Jillian asked.

  Hawk shifted in his seat, uncomfortable talking with her about this. If he had his way, he’d shield her and Lizzy from all the bad things that happened in life. “Because I was able to take them both out without a problem. They made mistakes and I capitalized on them.”

  Jillian held his gaze for a long moment. “Could be you’re just a better Special Forces guy than they were. You did that with the four men who tracked us to the cabin, too.”

  “Four men?” Mike whistled under his breath. “Who did you anger?”

  “Fair question.” Hawk gestured toward the computer, where he’d brought up the image of the man he suspected was behind all of this. “What do you know about Senator Barton?”

  Mike squinted at the screen. “Not much, but I’m willing to dig into his background for you.”

  “Maybe later.” Hawk couldn’t help wanting to protect one of the few friends he had.

  “Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Jillian suggested. “Telling Mike half a story isn’t going to help. He needs to hear everything, going back to your deployment in Afghanistan, through the plane crash and the recent events.”

  She was right. Hawk glanced at his watch. It was after one in the afternoon, and he knew they shouldn’t use the key to enter the elementary school until after dusk had fallen.

  As briefly as possible, he told Mike about his deployment as a special ops soldier, how his team had died in the Appalachian Mountains and his subsequent memory loss and survival against the odds. Mike listened intently, without interruption. When Hawk got to the part about Jillian being his wife and the information he’d sent, Mike’s gaze widened in surprise, at the relationship as much as at the information.

  “So Jillian calls Fort Bragg about this envelope and within days a two-man team breaks into her house.” Mike let out a snort of derision. “That’s no coincidence.”

  “Agreed. And the two-man team turned into a four-man team at the cabin.” Hawk gently massaged his injured shoulder. “I was able to take them down, but only put one of them out of commission permanently.“

  Mike grimaced, understanding how difficult their escape had been. “Impressive that you were able to get away safely, although maybe I should ask Dana to come out here to look at your shoulder.”

  “It’s fine.”

  Mike rolled his eyes and glanced back at the face on the computer screen. “And you think this is all related to Senator Rick Barton?”

  Hawk nodded. “I know he was a major in the army while I was overseas. Heck, he bragged about his military background while running for office last year. I have a snippet of memory of him standing and talking to someone else while deep in the Afghan mountains. But other than a sense of horror and wrongdoing, I have no idea what that bit of memory means. I have to think he was in a place he wouldn’t normally be. From what I remember of Afghanistan, officers didn’t go into the mountains on their own. Not without a special ops team
.”

  Mike pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Yeah, I get that. Officers are usually calling the shots, directing the team about what to do... Not off somewhere on their own.”

  “Exactly,” Hawk said. “And I also discovered that Todd Hayes, who’s the current secretary of defense, was stationed in Afghanistan as well. The two of them being overseas and now in Washington seems too much of a coincidence.”

  “Agreed. Seems logical to get the envelope first and see if there’s something inside that will provide a clue.” Mike shrugged. “I propose that once Matt and Noah get here, you and I hit the road, leaving the two of them and Duchess to watch over Jillian and Lizzy.”

  “No, I’m going with you,” Jillian said before Hawk could respond. “I have a key to the school and my classroom. I know where I left the folder and this will all go more smoothly if you take me along.”

  To his credit, Mike didn’t respond but glanced at Hawk. “Your call.”

  “No, it’s my call,” Jillian interjected, a sharp edge to her tone. “I’m serious about this. If we get caught, I have a good reason to be in the school, you don’t.”

  Hawk tried to come up with logical response that would convince her to stay behind, but he sensed it was useless.

  Jillian would continue to insist on going along, and he didn’t have a good way to stop her, short of physically restraining her.

  “Fine,” he finally agreed. “You can come with us, but you need to promise to follow orders without question.” He narrowed his eyes. “Your life and ours will depend on that.”

  Jillian didn’t hesitate. “I promise. And thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me.” Hawk couldn’t hide the frustration in his tone. “The only other option is to tie you to the chair and take the keys from you by force.”

  She simply raised a brow. “You would never hurt me.”

  No, he wouldn’t. She was his weakness, which was exactly why he didn’t want her accompanying him. If more armed men showed up and used Jillian or Lizzy as leverage, he’d fold like a lawn chair.