To Honor Page 5

  The little time she thought she’d have had just run out. She and Cassie needed to talk. Now.

  And as much as she knew that Cassie deserved to know who her father was, Carla was very much afraid that the light in her daughter’s eyes would fade when she realized Carla hadn’t been truthful with her over the past eight years.

  Whoever said the truth will set you free was full of baloney.

  In this case, the truth would only hurt the people she loved the most.

  Cassie and her mother.

  5

  Carla’s eyes filled with distress, so Jesse quickly put a hand on Mrs. Cromwell’s arm. “Thanks for stopping by, but we only have a short time before Carla needs to get back to work, and I don’t want our food to get cold. Would you mind giving us some time alone?”

  “Oh sure, dear.” The woman had the audacity to wink at him before moving on. “Henry! Over here!” She waved a hand at Mayor Henry Banks, indicating he should join her. He’d heard during the wedding that the burgeoning romance between Henry Banks and Betty Cromwell was the talk of the town.

  Jesse wished the nosy woman would focus more on her own love life, and leave them alone. But it was clear that Betty had guessed he was Cassie’s father, and that didn’t bode well for them. The woman couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it.

  “Jesse, do you have time to stop by the house later?” Carla’s tight smile didn’t reach her eyes, the green gaze he’d fallen for the first time he’d met her that summer nine years ago.

  “Of course.” He understood she wanted to tell Cassie the truth and maybe needed some moral support. “But you know, it’s a beautiful day out, we can take a drive along the lakeshore. Maybe sit overlooking the lake for a while.”

  “I have to work. The store doesn’t close until eight o’clock tonight.” Carla’s tone was clipped as if she was annoyed by his offer.

  “Mom always has to work,” Cassie piped up. “She has lots of responsibilities.”

  “I know you’re in charge, but I’m sure you could get away for a few hours.” He wasn’t sure why he was pushing so hard, other than he didn’t like the idea of Carla working such long days. Did she really work twelve hours a day seven days a week? Totally crazy.

  Besides, the conversation with Cassie couldn’t wait. He had no doubt that Betty was already telling Mayor Banks all about it. The news would be rippling through town by dinnertime. “You must have people at the store you can trust to watch things in your absence.”

  Carla narrowed her gaze for a moment, then concentrated on eating her meal. He tried to think of a way to convince her to spend a few hours with him, but he wasn’t sure how.

  The confident, driven woman seated across from him was different from the carefree teenager he’d once loved.

  “Please,” he finally said in a low voice.

  Carla finished her salad and pushed her plate away with a sigh. “All right, but it’s been a crazy morning. I need an hour to make sure things are settled at the store.”

  “Thank you.” He smiled and was glad when she managed to smile back. His gaze lingered on her face, his stomach tightening with awareness. How was it possible that Carla was more beautiful to him now than ever before? They were both nine years older, but time had only made her more attractive. He couldn’t help feeling guilty for how he’d allowed their relationship to get so intimate back in the summer after high school graduation.

  He’d been weak, and Carla hadn’t said no. But looking back, he couldn’t deny he should have acted better. Been stronger. Done what was right.

  His gaze shifted to Cassie, who was adorably licking her fingers after devouring her fried chicken. From the brief time he’d spent with her, he found her to be an amazing kid.

  One he wasn’t sure he could bear to leave, once his week of vacation time was up. His partner, Brian, had called yesterday asking when he’d be back and mentioning how Avery and Arch had finally paid their balance of the fee, while still grumbling about the time it had taken Jesse to do the job. At the end of the conversation, Brian claimed they had a new client demanding Jesse’s expertise. Jesse had declined the job, insisting Brian should handle it himself.

  “So, I’ll see you in an hour?” Carla’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

  “Yes. An hour.” He finished his fried chicken, having enjoyed eating Cassie’s favorite, then gestured for the check. Ashley dropped the tab next to him, and he had to grab it quickly as Carla tried to reach for it.

  “I’ll pay our share,” she said, digging in her purse.

  “My treat. I invited myself to join you, remember?” It was the least he could do since he hadn’t paid a dime of child support. And he fully intended to work out a financial arrangement moving forward. His job provided an excellent salary; he wanted to help Carla and Cassie. Maybe with decent child support coming in Carla wouldn’t have to work such long hours.

  “See you later, Mr. Jesse.” Cassie favored him with a little wave as she and her mother left the diner.

  Carla hadn’t said much, and he knew the upcoming conversation must be weighing on her. He squelched a flash of annoyance that she’d kept Cassie a secret all these years. If he were honest, he’d admit that the phone calls that had slowly trickled off between them were his fault, more than hers. He’d been the one to mention she should come up to spend homecoming with him, but then he had never finalized any plans. It made him feel sick that Carla had come up anyway, only to find him with another girl.

  He should have continued to follow up with her after that weekend, but he’d gotten so involved in life on campus that he’d never made the effort. When he hadn’t heard from her, he’d figured she’d moved on and had done the same.

  If he had reached out to her, he felt certain she would have told him about her pregnancy. His being in the dark was as much his fault as it was hers.

  As he left the diner, his cell phone rang. Looking at the screen, he inwardly groaned when he saw the caller was Brian. He was tempted to let it go to voice mail, but he knew he’d only call again later.

  “Hey, Brian,” he said by way of greeting.

  “Jesse, listen, I really need you for this new job. It’s over my head.”

  “Since when?” Jesse was irritated with his old college roommate. “You and I both graduated with the same degree, right? You take on jobs like this every day.”

  “Okay, yes, I do, but this one is different.” There was a nervous edge to Brian’s tone, and Jesse wondered if he was having other, personal problems that were distracting him. “Please, Jesse, I need you on this. How soon can you get to Indianapolis?”

  “If I leave Sunday when my week off is finished, I can be at the company first thing Monday morning.”

  “But today is only Tuesday! That’s too long!”

  “I haven’t taken a week of vacation in over a year. I think I’m due.” Jesse wasn’t budging on this. Not when he needed to spend this time with his daughter.

  And after the week was up? the voice in the back of his mind taunted him. He’d have to find a way to make it work. Even if that meant traveling from McNally Bay rather than Chicago. He’d done a bit of research earlier today and learned that both Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids had decent-sized airports. Not as big as Chicago, but not catering only to puddle jumpers either.

  “Fine. I’ll send the job elsewhere,” Brian said in a curt tone.

  Was his partner bluffing? He almost caved, then decided it didn’t matter if his partner sent the job elsewhere. There would be another one to replace it soon enough. Their talent for being security experts was well known in the information technology community. And the hackers creating viruses and ransomware never seemed to take time off.

  “Okay, see you next week.” Jesse disconnected from the call before Brian could say anything more.

  He didn’t linger at the diner as people were already lining up at the door waiting for a table. He decided to walk down Main Street. The place was super busy with tourists, and he fou
nd himself wondering what it was like in the middle of winter. He knew from experience that Lake Michigan often froze solid during the long winter months, and he suspected the tourism was likely nonexistent outside of a few cross-country skiers and the like.

  Did the lack of tourism impact Carla’s grocery store? Sure, the locals needed food and supplies, but was that enough to pay the bills? He made a mental note to ask Carla later.

  After leaving the busy street, he turned and headed down toward the lakefront. There was something mesmerizing about watching the water. There were boats for rent, and he thought it would be great to take Carla and Cassie out for a ride.

  He was lost in his thoughts, coming back to the present when the loud rumble of a motorcycle engine caught his attention. Jesse moved over to the side of the road to give the guy room.

  The motorcycle driver stayed close. As he turned to frown at the guy, a fist lashed out, hitting Jesse hard in the shoulder as he drove by.

  Knocked off balance, he hit the ground with a thud while trying to keep his gaze on the license plate. But it was no use. The small plate on the back of the motorcycle was covered with mud.

  The driver took off, weaving in and out of traffic, disappearing from view before he could get his phone out to call the sheriff’s department.

  This was the third attack on him in two days, and he was getting mighty tired of being pushed around. And still, he couldn’t figure out why in the world anyone in McNally Bay wanted to hurt him.

  Carla managed to solve most of the problems at the store to the point she felt as if she should be able to be gone for two hours. She took her most senior cashier, Sheryl Watts, aside and explained that she was temporarily in charge, but if anything serious came up, she could be reached via her cell phone.

  “I’ll be fine,” Sheryl assured her. “The next delivery isn’t expected until four o’clock this afternoon. That gives you a couple of hours to relax and have fun.”

  Telling Cassie about Jesse McNally would hardly be relaxing or fun, but she didn’t point that out. The news would be broadcast around all of Clark County soon enough.

  Carla found herself wishing she was wearing something nicer than her traditional tan slacks and light blue polo shirt with the Templeton Grocery logo displayed above the right breast. But there wasn’t time to run home and change.

  This little afternoon break was about Cassie learning the truth, not a romantic getaway with Jesse. She’d been there and done that. Had the kid to prove it.

  And wasn’t interested in getting burned again.

  No matter how much she was still attracted to him.

  She knew he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t involved with someone. Taking a deep breath, she headed outside to find Cassie already waiting beside Jesse. He was driving a green van that looked as if it had seen many miles. She was glad they wouldn’t be crammed into Jazz’s truck or her small car.

  “Hi.” She hoped her nervousness wasn’t obvious. “I’m free for the next two hours, barring an emergency.”

  “Let’s go,” Jesse said, gesturing toward the van. “I know of a great place where we can sit and watch the water.”

  She frowned when she noticed he was walking with a limp. “Something wrong?”

  He darted a gaze at Cassie, then shook his head. “I’m fine.”

  Understanding he didn’t want to discuss his latest injury in front of their daughter, she let it go. She slid into the front passenger seat, while Cass crawled into the back.

  “Whose booster seat?” Cassie asked.

  “My nephew, Trey.” Jesse carefully backed out of his parking spot. “This van belongs to my sister, Jemma. Trey is her son.”

  Carla knew about the McNally twins and their B&B. Personal issues aside, she was very glad they were bringing more tourists to the area. The grocery store needed all the help it could get.

  The drive to Jesse’s special spot didn’t take long, although finding a parking space for the large van wasn’t easy. Fifteen minutes later, they were walking down to a large flat rock overlooking the lake.

  “This is cool!” Cassie climbed up on top of the rock without fear to peer over the edge. “I should have brought my swimming suit. I bet it would be fun to jump in from here.”

  “You shouldn’t jump into the water without knowing how deep it is,” Jesse warned, his eyes full of concern. “It’s dangerous.”

  “The lake is super deep, isn’t it, Mom?” Cassie looked to her for confirmation.

  “In the middle, yes, but not necessarily close to the shore. Jesse is right, you shouldn’t jump into water when you don’t know how deep it is.” She sat with her legs crossed on the flat surface, trying to think of a way to begin. “Listen, Cassie, there’s something important I need to tell you.”

  “Is the store going under?” Cassie dropped beside her, giving her a hug. “It’s okay, Mom. You’ll find another job.”

  She glanced at Jesse and quickly shook her head. “No, honey, the store is fine. This is about you.” The words seemed to stick in her throat. “About your father.”

  Now Cassie’s face scrunched into a perplexed frown. “You told me my dad died before I was born.”

  Now it was Jesse’s turn to frown, and she silenced him with a narrow glare. “I know that’s what I told you, but the truth is that Jesse is your father.”

  Cassie’s eyes grew wide, and she looked at Jesse with shocked surprise. “You are?”

  Jesse nodded, his gaze uncertain. “Yes, I’m your father.”

  “You lied to me?” Cassie’s hurt expression made her wince.

  “I’m sorry, Cassie. I shouldn’t have lied.” She tried to think of a reasonable explanation, but there wasn’t one.

  Which only reinforced how wrong she’d been.

  “Cassie, listen, I want you to know that it’s my fault that I didn’t know about you until now,” Jesse said. “I left your mom to go off to college, and I didn’t call her the way I promised.”

  “But—I don’t understand.” Cassie’s expression mirrored her confusion. “You told me babies were made with love.”

  “Yes, that’s true.” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and she didn’t dare look at Jesse. “But sometimes love doesn’t last; adults grow up and go their separate ways. You have friends at school with parents who are divorced, right?”

  Cassie nodded, and Carla felt a measure of relief. Having the birds and the bees talk wasn’t something she wanted to have in front of Jesse.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth,” she continued, reaching out to touch Cassie’s shoulder. “That was wrong of me. And I really hope you can forgive me, Cass. Especially since Jesse didn’t know about you until yesterday.”

  Jesse’s eyes were suspiciously bright as he looked at their daughter. “I’m very glad to meet you, Cassie. I’m thrilled to be your dad. And I want you to know I’m planning to move to McNally Bay so I can see you more often.”

  Wait, what? He was? Carla was stunned speechless at the news. When had Jesse decided that? And what did it mean for her future? On one hand, she knew Cassie deserved to spend time with her father, but being close to Jesse, seeing him on a regular basis wasn’t something she’d planned for.

  Being with him now was bittersweet. He’d been her first and only love. When she’d gone to see him, only to find him kissing a beautiful blonde, her heart had been crushed beyond repair.

  She’d gotten over him—out of sight, out of mind. Focusing on caring for Cassie and her mother after her father’s death had helped. But if Jesse lived in McNally Bay, he’d be a constant reminder of how naïve and foolish she’d been.

  “But if Mr. Jesse is my dad,” Cassie said, “then how come my last name isn’t McNally?”

  “I, uh, well, your mom and I didn’t get married,” Jesse stuttered, the tips of his ears turning red. Carla was secretly glad he was just as uncomfortable with this as she was. “But I want you to know that I’m willing to adopt you as my daughter so you
can share my last name.”

  Carla ground her teeth together in frustration. Maybe it was petty, but she wanted Cassie to share her last name, not take on Jesse’s. “I’m not sure that’s necessary,” she quickly interjected. “Let’s just see how things go, okay?”

  “I guess that means I can’t live in the McNally Mansion,” Cassie said on a sigh.

  “I don’t live there either,” Jesse said. “I’m only staying as a guest. It’s a bed and breakfast now, remember?”

  “Oh yeah, I forgot.” Cassie fell silent for a moment, and Carla waited for more questions about why she’d lied. But thankfully, her daughter seemed to have moved on. “Mom, does Grandma know Jesse is my dad?”

  “No, but I’ll tell her when I get home tonight.” Carla knew that would be a far more difficult conversation than this one turned out to be.

  “How about we get some ice cream?” Jesse seemed to sense her desire to move on.

  “Okay! Mint chocolate chip is my favorite,” Cassie said, jumping to her feet.

  “Mine, too,” Jesse confided. He stood, then offered his hand to help her up. “Do you still love raspberry?”

  “Yes.” It was ridiculous to feel happy that he’d remembered. His hand was warm around hers, and she found herself reluctant to let go.

  Jesse drove them back into town and once again had to circle around to find a parking spot. Cassie chatted about how much she couldn’t wait to tell her friends at school that she had a father after all, which only added to Carla’s guilt. But she was ridiculously grateful the little girl wasn’t holding a grudge.

  “How is your mother going to take it?” Jesse asked in a low voice out of Cassie’s earshot.

  “Not sure.” This wasn’t the time to go into how her father had slapped her, then suffered a heart attack upon hearing the news.

  “She’s going to hate me, isn’t she?” Jesse sounded dejected.

  Before she could answer, Cassie was calling out with excitement. “Hey, look! It’s Grandma!”